- ADAM SANDLER TUMBLEWEED GIF PLUS
- ADAM SANDLER TUMBLEWEED GIF FREE
There are already people in my row and I'm going to have to do the Awkward Polite Shimmy in front of them to get to my designated seat.
Mind you, if I were a bald and fat man with glasses I can’t help but feel that conversation might have been a little different. YES, I CAN CONFIRM THAT I WANT A SINGLE STUDENT TICKET AT THE BACK OF THE CINEMA, WHY ARE YOU SAYING THAT SO LOUDLY. It might seem creepy but at least I can’t be seen. Hell, if you could put me in the projectionist booth that'd be mighty sweet of you. Yes, please put me at the back of the cinema. Please make this sale as fast as humanly possible. I am existentially alone in the universe and surrounded by screaming five year olds. There isn't an invisible person with me and none of those children are mine. Yes, till attendant, it is just me today. I would like a Student Ticket for That Latest Pixar Film With a U Certificate. Time to make this conversation as un-awkward as possible. Can you guys please hurry this along? There are only a finite number of combo meal options and I'm sure your offspring will appreciate any number of them. WELCOME TO THE REAL, CRUSHINGLY-DISAPPOINTING WORLD, ANONYMOUS CHILD. There is a child in front of me crying because her father won’t buy her a full-size tub of popcorn. Hence why I have pre-bought fancy but affordable snacks and hidden them skillfully and expertly in my handbag. I have an actual grown-up budget I have to stick to. Anyway, time to join the queue for tickets. But if we could have unlimited wine refills instead of the slush puppy, that would be mighty lovely. Who am I kidding, that’s the ideal way to spend a birthday. Whose birthday is it? Is it you, small urchin with the mahoosive slush puppy? Can I ask why you’re spending your birthday party in a cinema at 10:30AM? A whole ruddy party, a flock of infants, scattered around the place like hyperactive cockroaches. Lord, there’s a whole PARTY of children in the foyer. If I just talk about camera angles, "cinematography" (tbh, I'm still not 100% sure that means what I think it means) and the Pixar “ouvre”, and then point out that the hot dog stand looks a like a hotel for salmonella, I’ll blend in no problem. AND the cinema equivalent of a "mystery shopper". No, actually, A covert film reviewer AND a film student. If anyone asks, I'll lie and say I'm a covert film reviewer. 
I would look somewhat MILF-ish in this outfit.
Could I borrow someone's kid for the day? I'd look like a teenage mother but at least I'd have a better excuse to see this film. ADAM SANDLER TUMBLEWEED GIF FREE
Singleton Adult Cinema, a place where no children are allowed, where we all either a) politely discuss the film’s merits in an articulate fashion in a classy wine bar afterwards or b) get a free bucket of ice cream to drown our lonely, childless souls in. Why don't they do separate screenings of kid's films for adults? Or better yet, cinema screenings designed for adults who want to go to the cinema alone? There's a business idea.
Better go for the earliest showing as there's less chance I'll be harassed as there'll be fewer children. ADAM SANDLER TUMBLEWEED GIF PLUS
Plus if I miraculously find a fellow male single cinema-goer, I'm looking kind of decent today and we can laugh off our hopeless situation together. Lonely Adult with shit together and most definitely not a weirdo.
Yes, altogether this outfit is rather sensible. Let's go for a red sleeveless top and pencil skirt, with black tights and shiny black shoes. Paired with trusty Sensible Loose-Fitting and Surprisingly Snuggly Blazer, because it's always cold in the cinema and in my unrealistic imagination fashionable adult women wear either blazers or trench coats. I could probably get away with that, seeing as I'm still regularly ID'd for lottery tickets. 
Or perhaps I could even attempt to fit in with the kid audience by donning dungarees and pigtails.
There are two potential dress-codes we can go for we can dress smartly and sensibly to look like an actual adult going about their everyday business, or we could wear camoflague and a ski mask to literally blend into the seat. Our mission, should we choose to accept it, is to not look weird or threatening or suspicious. Okay, Bethan's wardrobe, here's today's brief: I am going to see a film - one aimed at pre-secondary school kids and their parents - alone.
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